The Straight and Narrow

EDIT, much after the fact.  I wrote this over a year ago, when I was hurt and mad about being judged as a "bad person" because of something very little.  I created a jewelry piece that someone thought was a "pagan" symbol. What does that even mean?  How small of them.  I thought it was a huge overreaction on their part, because I think they made the decision right then and there to never come into my shop again.  Maybe I also overreacted at the time in terms of the feelings I let this one incident stir up, which is why I didn't publish this post. then.  But I am reminded every day and every day of how people in the world right now judge each other in so many ways.  I wish it would stop.  I wish there could be a whole lot more goodness and genuine love in the world. The only thing I think I can do about it myself is just love more, judge less, and love more.  That's it.....I will just love more....pretty simple, right?

June 28, 2019:

The world is so big.

Do you walk the straight and narrow road?

I think I am having a crisis of faith.

Please don't think you have to help me with it.  I don't want you to try.  After all, it's just like a walk in the forest where you may lose the path for a while, but it doesn't really matter because the forest, your path and your destination, is still all around you, with all its life and beauty, and secrets.

It's okay if you can't see everything.

Humans, as a rule, want things to be explained to them.  In words they personally can understand.  I am trying hard to just experience the wonder, in a trusting and childlike way.

The world is so big.

I am having a hard time believing in the straight and narrow, that there is only one path through the forest that can lead to my destination.  Because not only have I been judged for following a different path, there have been stone-throwers on either side flinging a few sharp objects before walking away, shunning me.

I am a little ashamed that I don't stand up for what I believe, just a little more.  After all, my experience of  God in my life is so powerful...it makes me so happy.  I guess I am a little scared of those stones.  The shunning I can handle....I'm a hermit, anyway.

But why, oh why, must people try so hard to remake God into their own image?  Why is so important to think you must understand EVERYTHING?

I don't know who God is.  I know we are the image of him.  But he is NOT the image of us. He (just a traditional and convenient pronoun) is so much more.....so BIG, so small.  All times, all places omnipresent, a mystery beyond, BEYOND our understanding.  I'm not even sure you can call God a being....I am just not sure.  I just know there is something beyond our understanding that can somewhere, somehow help us to understand the wonder of our entire universe from the biggest expanse of space to the smallest quark or whatever it is that may turn out to be smaller than that. 

The cool thing about me :) is I'm okay with not knowing everything. Don't get me wrong, I love to learn (did you know birds don't have vocal cords?), but I'm not gonna figure it all out in this lifetime....and.....sorry for this....NEITHER ARE YOU.  So stop trying to prove something to me, to judge me for having different thoughts than you do.  STOP judging.....because if you really do believe what you profess to believe, you'd know that your chosen God-like being told you to STOP JUDGING.....do NOT throw that stone.  Put it down. Now.  Walk away....and start trying to look at the WHOLE picture.  It's bigger than you think. And smaller, too.  It's full of mystery and sound and color and light and darkness, and people who even in their smallness of understanding can demonstrate great love.  The universe is a marvel.  So start marveling, already.....I can't help but think you will be happier that way.