It All Started With a Trip to Duluth--Ode to Lake Superior

It started with a trip to Duluth.

Being from Iowa, I had no idea.

In Iowa, going to a great lake means Spirit Lake or Okoboji.

Total square miles of the two lakes....between 10 and 11 square miles.

Lake Superior...something between 31 and 32 THOUSAND square miles.

I had no idea.

Fast forward 25 years or so.

I still have no idea.

I have experienced Lake Superior from Duluth.  From driving up the north shore.  From taking a circle tour of the whole lake.  From spending time on beaches.  From going out in a boat a handful of times. I have only just begun to experience this mighty inland sea. And all I know is, from that first moment of coming over a hill approaching Duluth, and seeing it stretch out in from of me to the horizon, and far, far, beyond, that I was in awe, and in love.

People who have seen it understand.   People who haven't seen it...need to rectify that situation sometime.

Obviously there are many awesome bodies of water to visit, other great lakes...and many people, even those of us "in the middle" spend time visiting one ocean or another.

But I think Lake Superior is unique.  It is a cold pristine mystery.  Its depth and clarity call to us to enter, but its icy coldness keeps us away.  It has been conquered by millions of crossings, yet still remains dangerous and untamed.  It is an ever-changing landscape of every shade from black to steely gray to clear primary blue, deep reddish brown to turquoise to jewel green.

Its beaches can be smooth fine sand, small pebbles to huge boulders, to solid flows of ancient lava. To enter the water, you may be able to step smoothly from the beach into a gentle infinity pool, you might plunge several feet into deceptively clear water, or else it might require rappelling down the side of a palisade of rock a hundred feet tall to get to the shoreline below. There can be waves tall enough to test the most accomplished surfer, or a glass-like calm that reflects the clouds as a mirror.

The amazing thing is, one doesn't have to wait a lifetime to experience all these things.  The waterscape is as changeable as the weather that surrounds it, which all the people here can tell you is a fickle beast from day to day, or minute to minute.

Because even if you never visit the shore, your life will affected by the massive body of water and its temperature changes.  You may experience moderate winter temperatures even though the weather further inland is much more harsh.  You will learn to take in stride an everyday snowfall, or a frequent fall of a foot or even two.  On the other hand, while people are sweating an occasional ninety degree day in early summer, you will be able to enjoy nature's air conditioning in the breezes off the water, and  may be able to find a piece of ice still floating in towards shore.

See...I know all these things, and nothing.

I've never yet taken a real swim in the cold water depths.

I haven't dipped my net for smelt, drilled a hole in the ice, or thrown a hook for any of the other seventy or so species of fish that have been found in the lake.

I haven't made jewelry from agates or beach glass that I've discovered along the shore, even though I have thrown and collected my share of pebbles and driftwood.


I haven't watched spring or fall migrations of birds from Whitefish Point.

I've only seen Pictured Rocks in pictures.

I can count the number of lighthouses I've seen on two hands.

Basically I am a newbie.

But I have now seen the shoreline in spring, summer, fall and winter.

yes...

ice in LATE spring

summer

fall

actually still fall

and the start of the long winter

I have watched eagles and tundra swans sunning themselves on the ice.

I have watched the ice build up, and go away.

I have received as initiation bites and stings of mosquitoes, flies and no-see-ums while walking on the shore.  :)

I have watched a bridge go up and down and allow thousand foot ships into harbor.

I have crossed the mighty Mac and come back to live by my favorite lake.

And I have slept in a cabin feet from the water, and let the waves be my lullaby.

And that is just about all I have to say about that.  Because if you can't see it, if you don't know, please come visit....because its

 Bliss.

Amen.

Labels and Descriptions

If you know me, you know that I'm into politics.

Oh no, don't worry, I promise to NOT talk politics here.  At least not in any specific way.

Once upon a time, I thought I was a member of a certain political party.  But, I knew in my heart that my real party was the party of  "I don't know anything about politics whatsoever."  But I met a man who knew a lot about politics and who held some very strong opinions.  So I started learning stuff by listening to him.  And it would be easy to say that he convinced me to belong to his political party.  But it wasn't like that.  Because I started reading, and listening to everything I could find. I think you can learn sooo much from listening to conservative and liberal radio or tv stations and comparing their slant on stories of the day. I got interested in finding the two very opposing viewpoints of the two major political parties in our country.  And comparing them every way I could.  By fact checking every way I possibly could.  Which is a pretty tough job, because everyone does everything they can to get you to believe what they believe. Even if they really don't believe it and just want to convince you to go along with whatever their agenda for this for that particular issue. And unfortunately there are so many different ways to tell the truth, at least partially, which is what our media seems to be all about these days.

So, anyway, what do I learn from all this study and comparison?  I learn that nobody is doing it very well much of the time. So my party becomes the "Lesser of Two Evils" party, which is really not saying anything very nice about the state of politics in our country right now.

Anyway.

I think the world would immediately change if we could just learn one really really simple difference--the difference between a description, and a label.

Labels are all over the place.

Christian
Atheist
Liberal
Conservative
Straight
Gay
Bisexual
Lesbian
Transgender
Black
White
Red
Fat
Skinny
Ugly
Beautiful
Racist
Ageist
Sexist
Homophobic
Rich
Poor


For a start. And if I have offended someone just by typing those labels, I assure you I don't mean ANYTHING by them, just identifying the fact that I have HEARD those labels used before.  Among many many many others.

See, I think labels are a horribly slippery slope.  On the one hand, it is often a punishable offense to CALL someone by a certain label.  On the other hand, some people want to be able to say anything hurtful they want about anybody anytime and call it free speech. Which causes, on the third and final hand, people who are now allowed to use these labels about themselves as the reason they need to get preferential treatment. Like just by the virtue of being, or being called_______________(insert label of choice), they are owed something, compensation, a hand out, or an easier trip through this life than other people get.  Usually this is directed AT another labeled party who they perceive has life a lot better than them, often based on money or stuff.

This bothers me.

Maybe it doesn't bother you. I don't know what I can do about that.

I know that people are often often often treated badly.  And I would like to suggest that it is ALWAYS because of the way someone else has labeled them.

SO.

I would like to suggest something.  Let's take the labels away.  Which I think, if you take it literally, is an entirely BOGUS suggestion.  So why am I suggesting it?  Because I am an artist.  And every day I think about how beautiful the world is.

What if we had a world with one sound? (a quietly chiming A 440, for example)

One color? (greige)

One taste? (cheddar cheese)

One smell?  (cotton candy)

One texture? (soft brushed corduroy)

Even though to me, all of those sensations are nice ones, within a few hours, that would simply be ENOUGH OF THAT, right?

I would like to suggest that the world is beautiful BECAUSE everything is different.  So....if not labels, then what?

How about DESCRIPTIONS?

Remember in fourth grade English class, when you were asked to write a descriptive story, so you came up with every cool adjective you could think of and tried to cram at least seven of them into every sentence?  If you REALLY wanted to describe something well, you thought up the BEST descriptive words you could.  Ones that weren't offensive to your teacher or to anyone else.  And you started describing, at least in a little way, something that was beautiful to you.

What if, instead of saying everyone is wonderful, because as human beings we are ALL THE SAME, that we said everyone is beautiful because they are ALL DIFFERENT? And then we started to describe a person NOT as a label, but as a beautiful wondrous, unique creation of an infinite Creator? (Sorry....call me Christian any time you like...I won't be offended). I think this works no matter HOW you think we got here on this planet. Because every human being has value.  So do trees and rocks and teacup piglets. What if instead of being offended by being labeled, we could be happy about being DESCRIBED?

It bothers me that you can't identify someone in terms of the color of their skin.  Because skin is beautiful.  "The suspect has skin the color of balsa wood," or  "the rich loam of garden soil," or "hot chocolate with a touch of cinnamon."  Just because it would be true, and yet a nice way to say it.

I don't want to be the same as everyone else.  I don't want to be treated the same as everyone else, or given a privilege that someone else doesn't have, just because of my description.  I want to be respected, appreciated, loved, especially if I am respectful, appreciative, and loving.

And descriptions only work IF we recognize everyone as beautiful, wondrous unique creations. The same way we do aspen trees, or diamonds, or teacup piglets. :) And if we remember our fourth grade teacher, and the rest of the people on the planet, who we wouldn't want to offend.

What if we made it like a fourth grade assignment?  Go out and describe everything and everyone you see.  In a nice way.  Look and look for the beauty, even if it isn't immediately obvious.  What I notice from taking pictures is that even something like a turkey vulture has beautiful qualities.  Like a baby fuzzed soft looking pink head and gentle gray eyes. Glossy black feathers and a curious beak with a hole punched all the way through.

See, I think if we can remember to find the beauty in everyone and everything, it's like a double whammy of goodness.  Not only would we be able to love people better, but we would be SURROUNDED EVERY MOMENT with fascinating, precious, intoxicating, kaleidoscopic, uplifting, soothing as well as electrifying (that's seven) people, animals, plants, water, rocks and air.

So.  Don't label.  Describe.  Make sure your fourth grade teacher would approve.  Go tell someone that you think their turned up nose is as cute as a teacup piglet's.  Or that their hair is a glossy as a turkey vulture's feathers.  Or do even better than that, if you can. I dare you.

And may YOUR day be as beautiful as

the gentle color and patterns of pheasant tracks in the shade

 As warm as

a distant porcupine sunning himself on a mild day

as clever as

the perfect S-curve of a little red squirrel's tail

 as inspiring as

the gradual brightening of  willow branches against the snow

 as fiery as

the burst of an evening grosbeak against the dark pines

as promising as

the bareness of a melted roadway in the middle of February.

Spring will come (eventually)!  Praise the Lord.  Amen

Quick--What's Your Favorite Song--And Why I Am Perfectly Okay With Not Teaching Music

What's your favorite song?

Wow.  That is one question I have NEVER been able to answer.

There is sooo much music....sooo much.

I used to get asked that question a lot by my middle school students.  Usually it was asked in sort of a snotty middle school way.  In fact, I think even though they were asking me "What is your favorite song?"  the REAL question they meant to ask was, "Don't you like any GOOD music?"

Siggghhhh....

What they didn't know is the that the ACTUAL REAL question they were asking probably was something more like this:  "Why is it that you and all the other adults in the world are such tasteless old fogeys that you can't see that MY favorite song/singer/genre is the absolute best song/singer/genre of music that there has ever been or will be, based on my infinite knowledge of all music in the universe?

Bigger Siggghhh....

So.

It became my task to try to take all these opinionated, all knowing (just ask them) tweeny-boppers and take them out of their comfort zone by introducing them to actual GOOD music in as many different genres as possible, keeping in mind that EVERYONE eventually had a concert to prepare for, where the expectations from the general public would be that we would give them something WELL within their own personal comfort zones of what they would consider to be GOOD music.

I feel badly about the fact that nearly all the time, my most popular concerts were those during which we performed the most music that everyone ALREADY HAD HEARD BEFORE.

Huge sigh of frustration....

I don't know when I became a learner.  It was early on.  Probably when, in Miss Jorgensen's first grade class, it tried to learn to read my Dick and Jane (and Spot and Puff) stories just as FAST as my friends and third-or-so cousins Ricky and Mary.  Or maybe it was when I fell in love with stories that Mrs. Petersen read to us in third grade, Charlotte's Web, and the entire Laura Ingalls Wilder saga, and I knew that the world was full of so many wonderful books to experience   Or maybe it wasn't until much later and I had discovered the Internet, and found that the whole world was at my fingertips (VERY LITERALLY) waiting for me to learn more about it.

So, anyway, that's exactly how I feel about music.  I refer to my taste in music as schizophrenically eclectic.

I am sure I can tell you at least one piece of music from as many different genres of music as you can name that I really like.  Keep in mind that I don't like EVERY piece of music from any one genre. And I am NEVER going to like music with certain themes.  Gratuitous sexual content, violence, profanity, or an attitude of selfish indulgence are not going to be themes of the music I like.

Other than that, I am pretty open to all things musical.

Ask my students.  I had an assignment that I sooo enjoyed doing with them.  Where they had to find a GOOD piece of music representing a genre of music with which they were not at all familiar, and present it to the class.

Wow.

I learned some stuff, and I hope they did, too!

One thing I learned, is that students approached the assignment in one of two ways.  One way was to jump in head first, listen to a LOT of different stuff and then find something really really intriguing, strange, fascinating, and GOOD for their example.

The second way was to cheat and take the easy, or the safest way out.  Like one kid chose "Western" as his style, because, after all, it was different than his favorite, which was Country.

The kids who had the most fun were those who found a love for something completely out of their comfort zone.  Indonesian gamelon music, or Mongolian, Inuit or country western throat-singing (you wouldn't believe how many cultures have jumped on the overtone singing bandwagon) , or Klezmer, or Medieval Folk Rock, or just plain old Baroque.  Eyes and ears were opened. Students enjoyed something other than THEIR kind of music.  And hopefully, I became the Miss Jorgensen, or the Mrs. Petersen(or son) of their world in some small way.

MY favorite concerts were the ones where I got to present kids singing something new and different to them.  Like when our combined choirs sang "Adiemus" by Karl Jenkins, which is a piece in a made up language and a new age/world beat style.  Or "This Is My Maker's World" by Sheldon Curry, which combines a Presbyterian hymn and a Swahili chant. Or "Love You" which is a piece made popular again by an airline commercial, but was an example by the group Free Design of a piece that combined Sunshine and Baroque Pop styles that were popular for a time in the late 1960's.

I could go on.

And on.

And on.

And I'm sure I've forgotten most of my favorites over the years.

Anyway....there is an "unfortunately" to all this.

I found when I was teaching that MANY students were reluctant to step forth from the comfort of their dearest, most familiar favorites and experience something new in the world.  And yeah, I know it was my job to inspire them, etc. but the truth is, it's such hard work.  Like beating your fist on a wall harder than a diamond for millions of years (Dr. Who reference....I'm a nerd, yes) hard.

How do you make people want to learn something every day?

I have to say, I really don't know.

I guess I've reached the point in my life where I am going to continue to do what I do.  Which is learn things. And not worry so much about what everyone else wants to do.  If you stepped into my shop today, you would see examples of what I've learned the last 7 1/2 months or so.  Some days I just learn little things. But it's always something.  Like today, I was going through my weird playlist on my iPhone, and wondering if I need to learn to play the ukulele (yes), and if I need to sit down for many hours at the piano and re-learn (even better than the first time) Beethoven's Pathetique Sonata, and wondering if my voice can handle working on Wagner's Wesendonck Songs, plus the duet version of Dirait-on by Morten Lauridsen so Nick and I can sing it together if and when I see him sometime...siggghhhh....

And I wonder....

I hope I was someone's Miss Jorgensen.  Or Mrs. Petersen(sen) There had to be someone who learned to love to learn from me.  And if there was one, it was worth it.


p.s.  If you want to do the music genre experiment, go to List of styles of music A-F, and start looking down the list for something that floats your boat in a new and interesting way.  Then go to the G-M, N-R, and S-Z. pages and find some more.  Then go to YouTube and see if you can find an example.  Have fun.  Find something out of your comfort/knowledge zone.  And love something new today.

p.p.s.  I have a thing about public domain and copyright violations, which is why I didn't link to any actual music in this post.  I'm pretty sure this song is in the public domain, so enjoy  :)

Wouldn't You Like to Be a Yooper, Too--I Would!

May 23, 2014 was a day that changed my life.

It was the morning (early EARLY in the morning) that we got in our two vehicles, Nick and I in the Envoy, and Bob and Jordan in the Grand Prix, and made our first 600 mile trip from the corn and soybean fields of Iowa to the Upper Peninsula.

It had been an emotionally crazy year before that. We had made a trip around Lake Superior the summer before, which confirmed something we already knew about the area...that it was calling to us...really.  And so I started with some dreaming, and a lot of  Googling. I Googled every UP real estate agent I could find online, pouring through listings, looking for our own little piece of the UP. And suddenly, it seemed like it could become a real thing.

Property prices of land in Iowa were so out of sight at that time.  10,000 dollars an acre was fairly common and about half the record high price.   So in comparison to what we were used to, UP land seemed like a bargain. So I looked and looked and established a checklist of what would make a property our dream. Forest, yes, but also cleared land to build and garden on, proximity to water, within close travelling distance to Lake Superior and other beautiful sites.  And...cell phone service. See...we are techies...the whole family...and so being separated from every form of technology was not something we wanted. BUT if we could be surrounded by national forest land, that would be wonderful.

You would think that's a very specific list. But I was a woman obsessed...so I found it:

this is it

80 acres, surrounded on three sides by national forest.  Secluded, private. A creek in one corner, probably about 70 percent forest, the rest cleared. Close to lakes and waterfalls and the big lake.  Cell phone service anywhere on the property, and a town a couple of miles away (closer as the crow flies, or as the man hikes...through alders and aspens...oh my).

Our plans for this property was a little fluffy at the time of purchase, but it was something along the line of using it for a camp until our son was out of high school back home in Iowa, then building a nice cabin and retiring there...2018 or so.

One thing you can never see is very far down the road, both literally and figuratively.

In December of 2013, my mom passed away. We had just bought the property in the UP, so we put our happy thoughts of that aside for a while. But they waited for us. and eventually, we planned our first vacation to the UP.

On that early early morning in May, we took two very loaded up cars up to the UP.  Nick drove us through Iowa and Wisconsin.

my son, Nick, and the dawn's early light

We made lots of stops, potty breaks, food stops, and arrived late in the afternoon at our property (we don't say "camp" in Iowa) I get "car stomach" (which is our term for that butterfly feeling you get in anticipation of something good, or something bad) just thinking about those last miles through the UP to get to our camp (now I say camp).  Was it stupid to buy property sight unseen?  I mean, we had pictures, after all.  About 12.  I know, it was crazy.

When we got to our road, it was red muddy clay.

this is the start of the road...you can see where the gravel gives out, a curve in the distance, and a deer (this is on a dry day)

May 23...after a winter of even more snow than usual.  I had been watching the snow depth report all through April, and I knew it had only been a few weeks since the last of the snow was on the ground.  Nick had never gone "mudding" before, so it was a scary drive for him to get to our property, But it wasn't so bad...there was a sprinkling of gravel here and there, and we made it.

Our first camp was really RIGHT off the  muddy road.

Nick's tent

 We didn't know how far our vehicles would take us into the property, although an old logging road runs through the center of it.  We would later make the decision to trade the car off for a Silverado, so both our vehicles would be four wheel drive.

Our first, and lasting, impression of our property was, and is, THIS:  It is WAY better than we imagined. It could easily have gone the other way, but it didn't.

I could describe it, but it would take forever.  I love it so much.  The right mix of forest and fields, and creek and marsh and flowers and birds and....wow.

we call this Mystery Meadow, because it's hard to get to without a compass...or WITH one, if you're me

I know these pictures are not the best.  Those were the days before I carried my Nikon everywhere.

We set up camp (not super well, but we learned some things along the way not to repeat the next summer), and turned in for the night.

The next morning, after digging something of a firepit, we made pancakes and started our first day on the property.

it WAS blueberry pancakes

I think I was trying to take a picture of the BIRD in that aspen tree...NOT the portable potty...and NO....I can't see it, either!

We had had a portable potty brought in (which I don't recommend to anyone!!!) for our camping season.  And we started to explore.   I will have to say, I was the first to find IT.  I walked down the logging road, which curved through some regenerating forest and suddenly there IT was.  A clearing with a semi-circle of tall whispering pines in the middle of a prairie.

a picture doesn't do it justice

The other direction opens up to a view across the property, a valley of alders and willows, and even taller trees, large aspens and balsam firs, in the distance. Beautiful.  A perfect place for a cabin someday.

neither does this one...come visit and I'll show you

Anyway...that was the setting for our first camp summer. We only got to spend a few weeks there, a couple of different times, probably a total of five weeks, if you include about 10 days of ME being there ALL ALONE....THAT was an experience I need to write about sometime!

We packed up in August, rented storage for our stuff, and came home to Iowa.  And mourned.  I was a woman obsessed.  I carried this around as my key chain:

 I drank coffee from  "I heart the UP" mugs.

I drove my co-workers crazy with my one-topic-of-conversation theme. I papered one of the bulletin boards in my classroom with pictures of our "vacation," but it was so much more than that.  Pretty much every spare moment I had, I was plotting our return.

We planned for the following summer by getting bushwhacking done in the cabin clearing, and an outhouse built.  So funny, that our first building would be an outhouse.  But it seemed we would spend several more summers on the property before we would move there permanently, and an outhouse is a BIG improvement over a portable potty.  BIG.  Especially if your outhouse is huge and has pretty log siding, a frosted window, and green shingles.

our bathroom, shower, laundry area....and yes, I know I'm crazy for LOVING it!

We set up camp using all the experience we had gained the year before.  It was nice and relaxing, and allowed us to see and hear and enjoy the flora and fauna surrounding us.  My husband suspended his job so we could stay and stay.  We got a 4 wheeler, satellite internet, and a little generator, so our son wouldn't die....sigghhhh. And we love love loved our first month in the UP.  We loved it so much that the end of June, we started talking.  Could we do it?  Could we give up everything in Iowa and make the move, reinvent ourselves and our jobs, and become Yoopers?

And how does anyone BECOME a Yooper?  Because I found out, carrying a key chain around is not enough.  Even one of THESE

is not enough, which is why I haven't put it on the front of my car (one REAL license plate on the back of your car is all you need in Michigan).  Because I have learned that you have to earn it.

And how does one earn the title? Some people have told me you can't.  If you weren't born here, you'll never be a Yooper.....sigghhhh.

For many people, your initiation is all about winter.  You have to make it through x number of winters. Some people say one....whoo hoo...almost been there/done that!  Some people say 10.....sigghhhh again.

Some people say it's all in your attitude.  You have to be resilient, have a good work ethic, love the outdoors in all seasons, enjoy a pasty (with ketchup????), be respectful of animals, even if you are hunting the tasty ones. You need to be kind to strangers, willing to go out of your way for a friend, enjoy the hometown-everyone-knows-your-business (Mayberry) attitudes of people, yet maintain a healthy sense of caution about "Newpers" coming in to take advantage of (think rape and pillage) the natural resources here.

Is this a complete list of requirements?  I don't know.  But, if it is those things I just talked about, there is hope for me.  If I have to be a native, then it isn't going to happen.

And why do I want to be a Yooper so badly?  I want to be able to say to people that this is my forever home.  Because it is.  And though things have not gone exactly like we planned, I would say, generally, things are going well.   It's not 2018, and we are NOT retired.  Our son still has mixed feelings about moving here.  We are living in a house on two acres in Paynesville, instead of at our camp, which is still a camp.


So, all you (real) Yoopers out there, I'm sorry, but we are not going away. We are not just going to spend our money and leave.  We DID spend our money, just getting here, getting our businesses rolling, paying for lots of things we didn't see coming and so contributing to the economy of the UP. We plan to continue to contribute.  I LOVE to teach people things, or just create stuff that I think people might like.  Bob loves (I think "love" is the word) helping people through his job as an attorney.  We both would love to do more things in service to others, as long as we can eke out a living here, too.  Eking is fine, by the way.  If you know anything about us, we don't need a lot of stuff to be happy.

And someday I'm going to retire.  In my little cabin in the clearing with the whispering pines, in the middle of the forest.  With cell phone service and satellite internet. And birds and deer and a few predators, and the summer and winter and fall and spring. And even if I am only an honorary, or even a fake Yooper, I will feel in my heart a part of the place that is now my home.  I'll probably drive around with a green front license plate, though.  If you get to know me, you might approve, or not. Either way, I can live with it. In the UP :)

Yes, I Know That I Am Blessed--Happy Valentine's Day

One of the things Bob and I promised each other when we made the move to the UP is that we would each take time to write.  And we do!  I have this blog, which gives me an opportunity to share with others just how my life has been blessed. I hope that by reading it, others might recognize the blessings in their lives just a little bit more. I also have a novel that I've been working on for some time.  I don't know if it will ever be good enough to publish, but writing it is a great enjoyment for me.  Bob likes to write short stories, based on his life or things that interest him.

I know that HE is my inspiration for the novel I am writing.  Of course it is a romance.  Of course it takes place in my favorite place in the world...the UP!  

Sometimes, I provide inspiration for his stories. For instance, I read the other day that if you say that something is a "buttload," it really doesn't mean what you think, but that a buttload is a real unit of measurement.  This led him to write a story about all the weird kinds of measurements people have used throughout history.  Very funny stuff.

Anyway...I opened my email last night, and found a story Bob had written for me.  You know how I am always saying I have the best husband ever, and that I feel sorry for everyone else, because they didn't get the best, because I got him!  It's so true.  Today I have total proof of it to share.  Maybe you won't need as many Kleenexes to get through it like I did, but I think you will be able to see just what I am talking about.  Here is the story he wrote for me:

Our Journey Together

               It all began with some innocent Internet flirting. A few messages back and forth… Leading to some phone calls—phone calls lasting for hours through the evening and night, leaving very little time for sleep. I think we were sorely sleep deprived- sometimes surviving on only a couple hours of sleep at night.  Perhaps that’s what tainted our judgment concerning our continuing dating? 

We had to meet shortly after the calls started. You didn’t want to waste your time continuing to talk to a possibly married, three-eyed ogre. So you arranged a meeting at your house in Carroll just to be sure, before continuing on with the relationship.   I drove the hour’s drive from Perry to meet you-the first of many, many trips.  We both arrived in your driveway almost simultaneously.  As you pulled up beside me, what did you see?  It was a man with a bag on his head- possibly the three-eyed ogre you so dreaded to meet, hidden from sight.  You should have gotten the hint, but you were a glutton for punishment. You wanted to meet again.  That was the spark that started the flame. I was intrigued.

We kept writing back and forth.  I know that you have many of the letters still.  Around Valentine’s Day, you received many valentines through the mail.  And you received many bouquets of flowers at work for every holiday and many other non-occasions just because.  I loved making you the envy of all the teachers.

So we kept meeting.  There were numerous trips back and forth between Carroll and Perry, with drive-bys of Dunbar Slough to check out birds.  Every weekend, one of us drove the hour between homes.  And the calls kept coming nightly, and even as we were driving to meet. We were car buddies, even if we weren’t in the same car. But it felt like we were together in those calls, like we should be together forever.  Thus the calls were made every spare moment- day and night.  And the flame continued to get larger and larger.  Even weather could not stop us.  There was a winter storm with several feet of snow on the highway, placing traffic at a standstill- a real blizzard.  But a “little” storm could not stop Jordan and me from driving to Carroll even though it took triple the time to reach you, it was worth it.  The burning within me continued to grow.

We decided to take a trip to Georgia to see my daughters.  Because we were not yet married, we had to sleep in separate beds- you and Nick, and me and Jordan.  I think you got the better deal as Jordan was such a wiggle worm.  The trip was very interesting.  We visited Paducah (at the juncture of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers), Chattanooga, Atlanta (saw Andrea), and went to southern Georgia to meet Laura and her family. We continued back through St. Louis and along the Mississippi, visiting the Cohokia Mound in Illinois, and Hannibal, MO.  It seemed like we fit very well together as a family, even when confined to a car for extended periods, and so the flame continued.

We went to Renaissance Faires together.  It was intriguing to me that you loved Ren Faires since so did I (although I had never dressed the part at the Faire).  We went to Omaha, Council Bluffs, Shakopee, Kenosha, Des Moines, Sioux City, Amana Colonies, Bonner Springs, and Larkspur.  I became your Scottish protector and you became my lady.  I enjoyed parading you around as my lady faire.  The boys also enjoyed the faires.  Jordan was a pirate and then a steam punk who-knows-what.  Nick was an archer and a Green man.  And so the flame continued.

The flame grew and grew.  At the Council Bluffs Ren Faire, we just had to attend Merlin’s magic show.  We could not miss that show.  I was called up out of the audience to go on stage so that Merlin could read my mind.  You did not get it quite yet.  But Merlin read “Will you…”  This act suddenly and magically transformed into a marriage proposal in front of the audience.  And it was a wonderful faire with you that day.  Again the flame grew and grew.

We purchased cars together.  We test drove and looked at many models.  I was leaning towards some models, but you wanted others.  You were correct, and we ended up with the best cars for our money.

So we agreed to marry.  However to get married, we had to go through a couple of obstacles.  We had to get an Annulment from the church for both of our previous marriages or we could not marry in the Catholic Church.  The Sioux City diocese refused to grant the annulment.  We were crushed.  But since I was in the Des Moines diocese we tried to get the annulment there and succeeded. We were so determined to overcome all obstacles. We went through a series of pre-marriage counseling sessions in Perry.  That was inconvenient to you, as you had to drive to Perry to attend these sessions, but it was necessary. I even committed to convert to Catholicism and had to go through a series of classes in Carroll. You were so worth it.

And of course we picked the perfect day for the wedding.  It was an icy blizzardy day in Iowa.  Our friends, Kevin and Amy, had trouble arriving at the ceremony at St. Patrick’s Church in Perry, even sliding off the road near Ames, but they managed to make the soup bar afterwards.  (We had decided to have a soup bar after the ceremony instead of a traditional wedding meal.)  Because of the weather, we were not sure if ANYONE could make it to the wedding.  The priest was arranging for witnesses in the event that we were the only ones at the ceremony.  Of course we had spent the night prior in Perry.  You stayed in a room at the Hotel Pattee, and we boys (I, Nick, and Jordan) stayed at Mom Pete’s house.  The ceremony was beautiful, as was the bride.  Nick played music at the ceremony, and Jordan carried the rings.  Mom Pete and Dale, Trudy and family made it to the ceremony.  It was small, but very memorable.  And so we started our life together.

I moved to Carroll with you and our started our new life together.  We “fixed” up the attic so that we could have a room of our own.  All of us chipped in to install the insulation.  Nick was such a help in installing the insulation serving as the job foreman.  You then installed tile in the bathroom.  You artistically transformed the bathroom, and created the best shower that I had ever used.  We had new windows installed in the living room to improve our view outside (and cut the draft).  And of course we landscaped around the house to create a bird paradise inside of town.  It was so much fun helping you transform what was your house into our house.  And the flame grew.

We took several vacations together, besides the Ren Faire trips.  We went out west through South Dakota, Colorado, Wyoming, Idaho, Kansas, and Nebraska, visiting the Black Hills and Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone, the Grand Tetons, the Great Salt Lake and Salt Lake City, Promontory Point, the Flying W Ranch, the Durango and Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, Dodge City, among many other places.  This was another great vacation with us and our blended family. And the flame burnt brightly.

On our anniversaries, we had some grand old times.  We went to the Renaissance Hotel in Des Moines and stayed in a suite, with the boys in the adjacent suite. We also stayed at the Hotel Ft. Des Moines.  We stayed twice at the Adams Street Bed and Breakfast.  The first time, the snow in town was deep, so we walked downtown and ate at the Winery, and stumbled back to the bed and breakfast.  Talk about a great breakfast there!  One year we went to Omaha and explored the Old Market area.  The last anniversary we spent in our new house in Paynesville.

We took several mini-vacations together.  Most of these mini-vacations centered around watching birds or collecting rocks.  I loved collecting fossils and rocks with you as we travelled.  And you would take beautiful pictures of birds and landscapes (although you only got the butt of the bear in one photo).  I absolutely adore you and your pictures.  And I love to look over the old pictures and reminisce.

We took the Circle Tour around Lake Superior, starting and ending in Duluth.  Duluth was always one of our favorite sites.  We loved Lake Superior and Duluth, visiting the town and the North Shore after attending the Minnesota Renaissance Faire.  So our love of Lake Superior grew as our own love grew.  On the Circle Tour, besides Minnesota, we visited Wisconsin, Michigan, and Canada.  We actually stopped in Ontonagon to get a cooler at the Hardware Store across from our current shop, and Nick and Jordan trudged off to visit the old depot. Talk about coincidence, or was it?  We all loved the wilderness and beauty of the Lake Superior area.

We loved Lake Superior so much, so you started to search for a camp in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  You would spend hours looking at properties and you finally found the right one.  It was an 80 acre camp south of Kenton.  We purchased the camp sight unseen after hours of computer investigation and satellite study.  You picked the perfect location for a camp.  We were surrounded on 3 sides by the Ottawa National Forest, had our own “private” road to the camp, and yet we were close enough for a quick trip to Kenton and Bruce Crossing for supplies or a quick lunch (and we could get cell phone coverage anywhere on our property.)  The property was a perfect mix of woods, fields, marsh, and creeks, allowing us to spend hours enjoying nature.  We camped on this site for a couple weeks, I left you alone for a couple weeks, and then I came back to pack up and return to Carroll. Nick really got into being in the woods, even smearing mud on his face.  Jordan even broke away from games to trudge through the woods to locate me while I was posting signs.  It seemed that we had reached a new stage in our life.

The short time at our camp during one summer was not enough.  We wanted more.  The following year we bought the adjacent 80 acres to the north and decided to spend the entire summer at the camp.  We built an outhouse- the best outhouse in the UP, and camped out for the summer, enjoying our land, nature, Mr. Hummingbird, and ourselves.  We learned that there were wolves traveling through our camp, and that they loved to chase deer into our tent.  We loved listening to the birds during the day and the frogs at night (sometimes anyway). At least the annoying sparrow from the previous summer did not seem to haunt us at all hours of the night.  We would listen for the howls of the coyotes and wolves.  During the middle of this vacation, we both simultaneously made a scary decision to remain in Michigan.  So you quit your job, and I quit my practice and we moved to the UP with no notice and no preparation. Jordan was not happy, and the money would run out, but in spite of this, the flame continued.

We rented a business location in Ontonagon and you set up a shop and I set up my law practice.  Money was tight due to the short preparation for our move, but we still managed to buy a house for cash, set up our businesses, buy some furniture, build a bed, and keep our heads barely above water.  We struggled, but every day we loved the UP (and each other) more and more.  The long foretold harrowing winter didn’t even stifle our enthusiasm for the UP or for each other. The axes remained hidden in the garage and were not used on each other.  Our love continued every day.

I love our drives together.  I love to stop suddenly so that you can capture the perfect bird or landscape picture.  I love to laugh and talk with you on our drives through the woods.  And we drive together almost every day, since we work together, have almost an hour’s drive to work, and drive through God’s Country.  I love exploring God’s beauty with you.

I love watching chic flicks with you, even if I will never admit it.  I love watching shows that you love to watch, even if it is Pride and Prejudice for the umpteen millionth time.  I just love spending time with you, even if it is watching these shows, but I’ll never admit it (oops I guess I just admitted it).

I love building things and providing things for you.  Last Christmas, I built a bed for you.  I built a pond for you in Carroll.  I will be building our camp for you, as well as fixing up our new home and yard.  I love taking worries away from you.  It may be a guy thing, but I enjoy providing for you.

I love watching you react to the ongoing activities outside our home.  I love feeding the birds and deer not only to provide for them, but also for the pleasure that it brings you.  I love it when you are happy because you have either seen an interesting bird or taken a great picture of a bird or animal.  And I love the praises that you receive across the Internet or in your shop concerning your photos. I feel so proud of you.

So our love continues and continues.  Why do I love you? 

·        I feel that we are soulmates because we mesh together so well.  You can read my thoughts (sometimes to my detriment), but you know what I’m thinking, often before I do. 

·        You help me keep up my spirits, even when they are low. 

·        You put up with me, even when I become obnoxious. 

·        You get my humor, even if you are the brunt of it at times. 

·        You are a great car buddy on trips, even if you dislike Military Hill in the winter. 

·        I love to get into discussions with you (you are so intelligent and savvy about so many issues), even if we disagree on minor points. Of course, even if I won’t admit it, you are always right.  You put up with my rants, and I love to listen to yours.

·        I love to rescue you from your dragons, even if you just want to rant and don’t need (or want) rescuing.  

·        I love the fact that you don’t have to put on makeup to look gorgeous to me. Every day I love your beauty. 

·        I love that I don’t have to pretend around you.  I can be myself and that is, at least sometimes, ok with you.  I also love that you don’t have to pretend around me.  You can also be yourself.

·        I love hearing your voice in the morning, even though you are not a morning person. My day suddenly brightens when you awaken.   I also love how you will get up early if I need to leave early.

·        I love your experimentation, whether it is with food, crafts, pictures, or other subjects—but especially your cooking!!!!  As you are baking cookies now for Valentine’s Day, I am reminded just how much I love your cooking and baking. 

·        You want to rescue me also from my dragons.  You put up with my crazy family, wanting to rescue me when I need it. 

·        We complement each other well—you have your artsy side, and I have the scientific side.  Together we cover the whole spectrum. 

·        We seem to love many of the same things (sorry our music tastes are different though- I’ll defer music discussions to Nick). 

·        I love listening to you planning our future together, discussing our cabin, chickens, and vegetables.

·        You understand that men and women are different—that we think differently and desire differently.  You put up with my “man” issues and don’t complain.

·        You need very little “stuff” other than ourselves and nature.  But you will have more.

·        You put up with me even while we struggle and have very little—only ourselves and kids.   But the tide will turn. 

We laugh together, struggle together, and will succeed together in our journey through life.  I love you so. I know that I don’t tell you often enough.  I love you.  I look forward to living the rest of our future together. Sorry, you DID get stuck with the married, three-eyed ogre.

Happy Valentine’s Day 2016. 

To sum up I quote:

How Do I Love Thee

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning  1850

                                                            Love you always,

                                                            Bob



Was a woman ever more blessed in her choice for a life partner?  I think not. I mean, what's not to love?

after all, he is my knight in shining armor, slaying the dragon, or  in this case, the big scary pieces of ice

he is the gentle lover of all of God's furry creatures, including pesky three-legged cats

and all of our feathered friends, too.

he works tirelessly to provide for our family, even if it means he sometimes has to put on court attire

he is strange enough to keep me laughing every day

he provides me with all the riches and exotic cuisine that my heart desires

and I know that underneath his mild mannered exterior lurks a wild barbarian Scotsman

my fierce protector

and my dearest darling lover and best friend.

I thank God every day for bringing this wonderful man into my life.  Every day I love him more.  

I am so blessed.